Things I Learned After My Brain Injury

Hey there, friend. Pull up a chair and let me tell you about the journey I've been on over the past two years. It's been a wild ride, for sure, but one that's taught me some invaluable lessons about the power of resilience, self-compassion, and redefining what it means to be "me."

It all started in January 2023 when some schmuck who was on his phone slammed into the car I was in and almost killed my boyfriend. I thought I was fine but it turns out I ended up with a serious brain injury that almost two years later I’m still trying to heal from. At first, I was completely overwhelmed - my world had been turned upside down, and I felt like I was grasping at straws just to make it through the day. The headaches, the memory issues, the difficulty focusing...it was like my brain had turned to mush. And since I had always been self sufficient the fact that I was no longer able to perform basic functions like go to the grocery store, or make my daughter a meal, I became very, very angry. I was angry at the asshat who was going 20 miles over the speed limit AND playing on his phone at the same time. I was angry at myself for not bouncing back immediately. I was angry at God/the Universe for doing this to me. I was angry all day, every day, for the better part of a year.

But you know what they say - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And as tough as those early month were, I learned that giving myself the time and space to properly heal was absolutely crucial. I had to unlearn the obsession with "pushing through" that my Eastern European family instilled in me and accept that recovery wasn't going to be a straight line. Some days were decent, others...not so much. But eventually I realized that being upset isn't solving the problem so I tried to be gentle with myself, to celebrate the small wins, and to remember that I was doing the best I could.

One of the biggest game-changers for me was cognitive therapy. I know, I know - it sounds like a scary, clinical thing. But let me tell you, working with an amazing therapist to retrain my brain and rebuild those neural pathways was a total lifesaver. We did all kinds of fun, brain-boosting exercises - memory games, puzzles, even just chatting through my thought processes. It was challenging, for sure, but so rewarding to see the progress, little by little.

And speaking of progress, can we talk about sleep for a sec? I will write a separate post about how I am keeping my insomnia at bay soon because I think it can help a lot of people, but there were entire weeks where I literally could not shut off and fall asleep. I'll be honest, I have never had sleep issues before the accident so to go from that to not sleeping for 5, 6 or even 7 days in a row, I quite literally felt like I was dying.  Let me tell you, after experiencing those massive sleep disturbances getting good, quality rest became an absolute non-negotiable for me. The brain needs that downtime to heal and recharge, you know? So I made it a priority to establish a solid sleep routine, limit screen time before bed, and generally just give my body and mind the TLC they needed. Game-changer, I tell ya.

The last piece of the puzzle, though, was probably the hardest - learning to accept the "new" me. See, I had this idea in my head of who I was supposed to be, and letting that go was extremely tough. But you know what? It took me some time to realize, but now I know that the person I am now, post-injury, is actually pretty darn awesome. Sure, there are things I can't do as well as I used to. I now have post-its everywhere and I created a “group” chat with only myself on WhatsApp so I can send myself stuff. But there are also so many new strengths and perspectives that I never would have discovered otherwise. It's been a process of mourning the past and who I was while also embracing the present and future.

So there you have it, my friend - the cliff notes version of my brain injury journey. It's been a wild ride, for sure, but one that's taught me the invaluable lesson that healing doesn't have a timeline, and that the most important thing is to be kind to yourself along the way. Because at the end of the day, you are so much more than any injury or obstacle. You're a badass, resilient human, and that's what really counts.

Now, go forth and live your best life, my friend. And remember - if I can do it, I know you can too.

As always with love,

Dom